09WK19-DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
KEY VERSE: So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. “MATTHEW 19:6

SCRIPTURE LESSON: MATTHEW 19:3-12
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be untied to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
INTRODUCTION
Divorce is on the increase everywhere. In countries where statistics are well kept such as in the United Kingdom, Rev Dr. John Stott reports in his book, “issues facing Christians Today”, that in1987 there were 398,000 marriages (35% of which we remarriages) and 165,000 divorces in the UK. This meant that a marriage took place very 80 seconds and a divorce every 190. he reports that the total number of divorced people in the country at that time was two million and it can be more than that now. He further reports that the British divorce rate which had increased by 600% during the last 25 years was the highest in the European Community. He concludes, “In the UK one in every three marriages breaks up; in the USA it is more than one in every two”

The statistics in Ghana cannot give us these details, but take a close look at the situation in your little village or community and find out whether you will find 10% of couples that have lived together without any divorce or remarriage until death parted them. The problem is real and the church is not exempted. This week we take a look at what the Bible teaches on the issue and how we can be light to the world in this crucial area.

EXPOSITION
Old Testament Teaching
There are two passages in the Mosaic Law which deal with the issue of divorce and remarriage

In Deut, 22:13-30, various laws on marriage violations are given. They essentially deal with whether a woman enters marriage as a virgin or not. It the virginity of a woman who enters a marriage cannot be proved, she is not only divorced, she is stoned to death.

In Deut, 24:1-4, there are regulations on divorce which again favour husbands. It states; “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her and he writes her a certificate of divorce…. This gives the man the right to decide whether a marriage shall continue or break. The regulation however is against divorcing a woman and remarrying her after she has been married to another man.

In Malachi 24:1-4, the Lord complained about the way the husbands were treating their wives. He warned them; “So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” There was apparent misuse of the concession given by Moses to the men, so the Lord through this prophet, made one of the clearest statements about his position on the issue of divorce, “I hate divorce”, says the Lord. From the beginning, the Bible presents marriage as a permanent, intimate union between a husband and wife and the statement in Malachi affirms that position.

JESUS TEACHINGS
When Jesus was asked his position on divorce and remarriage, he went back to the beginning and God’s purpose in instituting marriage. God’s purpose is for the two to become one and so he declared, “What God has joined together, let man not Jesus also commented on the Mosaic Law by saying that Moses gave that Law to regulate a chaotic situation that had developed at the time. It was a concession that he gave, to regulate the situation and that God. Original purpose for a lifelong union still stood.

Jesus further taught that divorce could be granted on the basis of unfaithfulness. He stated; “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (See Mt. 5;31-32; 19:1-12).

Paul’s Teachings
We need to know that unlike the Hebrew world of the Old Testament which Moses addressed where only a husband could grant divorce, in the Roman world which Paul addressed, either spouse could ask for divorce. The Church in Corinth had opinion (To the rest I say this – I not the Lord’). He states that the exceptional situation break the marriage because of he believer’s faith in Christ. Paul’s basis for this concession is that; “God has called us to live in peace (freedom)” (I Co 7:15)

The Position of the Methodist Church Ghana
The Church’s position if found in Standing Order (SO) 743 of the Constitution under the title, Divorce, Dissolution of Marriage and Remarriage S.O. 743.
1) No Member of the Church shall dissolve his or her marriage without first consulting his/her Minister, who shall make every effort to reconcile the parties and shall, if need be, seek the assistance of the Leader’s Meeting.

2) If one partner fails in fulfilling the obligations of marriage, it is the duty of the other, as a Christian, to be active in seeking reconciliation so long as any possibility of it remains.


3) Where all efforts to effect reconciliation fails the Leader’s Meeting shall be informed of this.
4) When one party has already formed a union with a third person and is judged to be beyond hope of restoration to the lawful partner, the latter may be permitted to dissolve the marriage by the appropriate process under the ordinance or Customary Law, and shall then be free to re-marry in due course. This permission to divorce and re-marry shall be subjected to confirmation by the Bishop of the Diocese, who shall act in consultation with the Circuit Superintendent concerned and a small committee (including a lawyer) appointed by synod.

5) Any Member who dissolves his/her marriage against the advice of the
Minister and the Leader’s. or who is the guilty party in divorce proceedings or who contravenes S.O 742 93) (1), shall be subject to the discipline of the Leader’s Meeting.
(Quoted from the Constitution and Standing Orders of the Methodist Church
Ghana, 2000 Revised Edition)
The “Peace” or “Freedom” Principle
The “God has called us to live in peace or freedom” principle established by Paul as basis for divorce in “mixed-faith” marriages may be extended to other cases after all efforts have been made to save a marriage. This appears to be the spirit of the SO 743 in the Methodist Constitution
The Africa Bible Commentary (2006 Edition) feature article on the issue may help in applying this principle. The relevant section is quoted below:
“One of the most important questions in marriage counseling is identifying the special cases to which the freedom of I Cor. 7:15 applies. It is all too easy to open the door to divorce wider and wider and to forget that Jesus himself limited it to cases of adultery and that God wants every couple to keep their marriage vows for life. However, we should not ignore the statement that ‘God has called us to live in peace’. Peace is achieved when both partners keep their parts of the vows but there are cases where husbands actively torture their wives-either by physical beatings or through financial neglect and absence. When such behaviour proves resistant to counseling, and especially when the wife’s life is threatened, she is entitled to claim to be a special case. A wife too, may be the sinning partner, particularly when she leaves home and chooses to live in the city in a way that denies that she is accountable to her husband in any way. In such cases, and after vigorous attempt to help the erring one to correct his or her ways, the pastor and the church must stand with the hurting party in seeking a way forward. By recognizing these as special cases, the church alls for such options as separation, divorce and remarriage.”

Effects of Divorce
For most people, divorce brings pain and turmoil, and affects people in many ways including the following:
1 Behavioural effects that include declining work productivity and difficulties in completing routine tasks.
2 Social effects, including changing relationships with family, friends, work colleagues and fellow church members.
3 Physical effects, including increased illness and declining health.
4 Spiritual effects, in which some people draw closer to Christ but others drift away.
5 Harmful effects on the children even when the divorcing couple tries to make the separation smooth for the children, and even adult offspring.

Coping with divorce or assistance to the divorced
The effects of divorce on the couple have been compared to what happens when one attempts to separate two sheets of paper which have been glued together. However carefully and skillfully this is done, the two sheets never get separated without each sheet being torn and damaged at several points. That is why Christians and the church must give prayerful support to those going through divorce and to the already divorced as well as the children and others who may be caught up in the tension. While the church must seek all available means to help couples to be faithful to the end, the rules against divorce cannot be handled “mechanically”. They must be applied with concern, understanding, prayer support, and in ways that will lighten the hurt, disappointment and the burden of persons finding themselves in this situation.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What are some of the common cases of divorce in Ghana? Are these different from what causes Christians in Ghana to break up their marriages?
2. a. Do you consider the Church’s position on Divorce and Remarriage as adequate to solve these problems?
(b) To what extent do church members avail themselves of this arrangement?
© How prepared are Church members to subject themselves to the church’s discipline on these matters?
3. What do you consider to be the most serious effect of divorce and how can this effect be mitigated or lessened by the Church and fellow Christians?
4. What can the Church do to help those going through divorce or those already divorced?
5. Summarize the Bible’s teaching on Divorce and Remarriage. What is your understanding of the “Peace or Freedom Principle”?





BIBLE LESSON APPLICATION
1. Are you married and does your marriage have the foundation that will help it withstand the storms and threats of divorce?
2. Are you divorced? How are you coping with your situation? Is there a possibility of reconciliation? How can you be helped?
3. Have you remarried after divorce? What Lessons have you learnt and how are you ensuring that you don’t run into that problem again?
4. Does your congregation have a post-marital counseling unit? How can the committee or your pastor help you situation is, don’t give up, trust Jesus for answer to your problems as you seek counsel. You may want to share some of your answers with your bible (study) class.

DAILY BIBLE READINGS
Monday Malachi 15b-16 God hates divorce
Tuesday Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus’ teaching on divorce
Wednesday I Corinthians 7:12-15 When divorce is permissible
Thursday Romans 7:2-3 When a married woman can remarry.
Friday John 4:17-18, 39-42 A multiple divorcee repents
Saturday I Corinthians 6:9-11 Adulterers and other sinners can be
Forgiven